I hate guilt. What's the point of it, anyway? And how can we get rid of it?

The Guilt-Free Zone: Let’s Break the Chains Together!

Hey there, lovely people! 🌟

Welcome to this week’s coaching newsletter, where we’ll dive into a feeling that a lot of us struggle with: guilt. You know that sneaky emotion that creeps in, telling you you’re not doing enough, or you should be doing things differently? It’s time we flip the script on guilt and start looking at it in a way that helps us grow, not feel stuck. Let’s break it down and make peace with it!

First Things First: What is Guilt?

Guilt is that feeling you get when you think you've done something wrong or failed to meet your own (or others') expectations. It's a heavy little beast, isn’t it? But it’s not always the villain—it’s our body’s way of signaling to us that something doesn’t sit right.

But—and this is important—guilt doesn’t need to run the show. We get to decide how we handle it, and today, we’re going to take control!

A New Perspective: Guilt as a Teacher

Instead of letting guilt weigh you down, think of it as a teacher. When you feel guilty, ask yourself:

• What is this feeling trying to tell me?

• Is this guilt based on real actions, or just unrealistic expectations I’ve set for myself?

• What can I do to make amends, learn, and grow from this?

By shifting your focus, you can use guilt to guide you, not control you.

Reframing Guilt: Is It Really Your Fault?

Oftentimes, guilt gets mixed up with a sense of responsibility. You might feel responsible for things outside your control—whether it’s someone else’s feelings or situations that didn’t pan out as planned. But you are not responsible for everything!

Take a step back and ask yourself: “Did I do my best with what I had?” If the answer is yes, then let it go. No need to carry the weight of someone else’s actions or the what-ifs of life.

The 3-Step Guilt Detox:

Ready to clear the air and let go of that guilt? Here’s a quick 3-step process:

1. Acknowledge: Recognize when guilt shows up. Give it a name. Is it guilt over an action? A decision? Or is it simply a story you’re telling yourself about what you should have done?

2. Assess: Look at the situation objectively. Is there something you can do to make it right? Apologize if necessary, or set a new plan in motion. If it’s out of your hands, release it.

3. Release: Let it go. Guilt only has power over you if you give it permission. Practice mindfulness, talk it out with a friend, or even journal your thoughts to let go of that negative energy.

Lightening the Load: Self-Compassion to the Rescue!

Here’s a little secret: the best antidote to guilt is self-compassion. 🫶 When you treat yourself with kindness and understanding—like you would a good friend—you allow yourself to heal from those guilty feelings faster. So, next time guilt knocks on your door, greet it with a dose of self-love. 🌸

Take a deep breath, give yourself grace, and remember that mistakes are part of the journey. We’re all learning and growing, and that includes you!